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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, rendering him highly sensitive to criticism from others. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that conclusion by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma linked to the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through actions such as displaying material goods,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies indicates this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” explains an individual who discusses her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with handling criticism and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my household were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for psychological counseling through national services (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: “They said it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of online advocates and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number